Newlywed TLC: Celebrating Your One Month Wedding Anniversary

Posted on 10. Dec, 2012 by in Newlywed

Dear Thriving Wife,

Today marks the one month anniversary of my marriage to the love of my life.  This afternoon PJ reminded me, and I thought back to the way in which he also reminded me of our one week anniversary.  After being married for one week, my husband bought me a chunky blue and maroon colored ring.  I love the ring because it is pretty and just my style, but I love it even more because every time I look at it I think about that moment when he presented it to me and said “Happy one week anniversary!”  I couldn’t have been more thrilled.

Basically, if you are a new wife you are expected to be giddy and elated in the first few months as everyone remembers that you and your spouse are newlyweds.  And then months (and even years) go by, and you start reading the many articles that tell you about the 7 year itch and all the challenges that will come your way after the love gets buried under the children and you find yourselves two very tired and overworked people who used to be in love.

The truth for me is that I don’t think years of marriage has to mean that we  fall out of love.  I just think we forget to remember the small things, which in the end add up to be the daily things that turn months into days, years and a lifetime together.  Whether it is your one month anniversary or your spouse brought you coffee in bed this morning, I think it is important to notice these moments an the ways in which the person you chose to spend your life with shows up for you each and every day.

As I am writing this, I am reminded of a wonderful story about a couple we met during our honeymoon.They were staying at the same hotel as us, and after talking to them for a few minutes it was quite clear that they were so deeply in love.  When they heard we had recently married, they let us know that although they had been married for 7 years, they felt like newlyweds.  The woman in the couple reminded us that “it’s all about perspective.”  In the end, it is about your perspective and for me my perspective includes noticing and celebrating all of your victories as a couple, which includes any anniversary you choose to celebrate.  My perspective also includes giving myself permission to have the wedding that I want to have with my partner, which means figuring out what we both value and honoring that regardless of other people’s opinions.  So, do you want to celebrate your one week anniversary?  Go ahead!  There are people who might laugh at the idea, but guess what: they are not you and you are not them.  You both have the right to your opinions and your value, and if (like me) your values include honoring the victories (big and small) that are important to you, then by all means do so.

When you take the time to do this, I do believe you will be more willing (and able) to forgive this person when they upset you or make a decision that you do not like.  It is about remembering what is good in your life and in this person. The man I love hugged me today and told me that he was so happy we found each other.

We are going out tonight to celebrate our one month wedding anniversary!  If you are a Thriving Wife (or working on getting there), then you’ll understand what I mean when I tell you that no victory is ever too small to celebrate.

Today is my one month anniversary to the love of my life and I could not be more grateful or happy.  Wherever you are and whatever you are doing with your spouse, I hope you have those small but brilliant moments that allow you to remember why you chose this person in the first place.

 

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